


After the visible wounds heal

by needtoknow400



Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 12:34:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13636398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needtoknow400/pseuds/needtoknow400
Summary: Gibbs visible wounds may have healed after Neverland, but he refuses to deal with the deeper more emotional wounds. What happens when Tony makes him face them?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on ff.net on 9/20/2015

Tony stirred in his sleep when he heard a squeak. He pulled his head up and looked at the alarm clock on the night stand, 2:12. Letting out a sigh, Tony climbed out of bed, grabbed his t-shirt and made his way down the stairs. He could see the light from downstairs and when he reached the bottom step he saw the table lamp by the couch was on, but the couch was empty. Letting out a sigh, he rubbed his forehead. It was going to be another one of those nights. He'd been staying here almost every night since Gibbs came home from the hospital. It started out as him being here to help take care of Gibbs after the shooting. A knee replacement and open heart surgery take a toll, even on the almighty Gibbs. After two weeks in the hospital Gibbs said they either needed to release him, or he was going AWOL. The doctors finally agreed when Tony stepped up and said he'd stay with Gibbs. Physical Therapy was coming in four times a week, Ducky checked in at least twice a week, and Tony…well he'd become nurse, maid and sometimes therapist to Gibbs. They had tried to bring in a therapist, but that lasted a total of ten minutes and after that incident, no one tried again.

It had been over a month now and Tony was still here. His roll had changed in some ways, he was less of a nurse and maid and more of an informant. Gibbs wanted to know about every case, every little detail and they spent most nights talking about cases. Tony was thrilled actually, he wanted Gibbs involved in work, wanted him ready when the doctors gave the green light for Gibbs to come back. He knew it would be restricted, probably desk work, but they were all ready to have Gibbs back. Overall, Gibbs was doing well. The wounds were healing, physical therapy was down to twice a week, and his strength had come back. The things that had Tony worried were the erratic sleep pattern and the lack of that normal Gibbs fire. They'd spent countless nights on the back patio, drinking in silence, or exchanging a few words about a case. But nothing seemed to engage that normal Gibbs' fire. Nothing seemed to bring any kind of emotional response from the man and of course only a few words had been exchanged about what happened, other than about the actual case. Nothing about what Gibbs went through and if Tony even tried to bring it up Gibbs would slough it off or just say he was fine. Tony had tried to provoke Gibbs numerous times with no success and that bothered him.

He stepped into the kitchen and looked at the basement door. It was closed as it had been since Gibbs came home. Gibbs hadn't showed any interest in the basement, working on a project, nothing. Again, Tony had tried but Gibbs blew him off. He grabbed two beers from the fridge, took a deep breath and headed out the back door. Without a word he dropped down in the patio chair next to Gibbs and handed the man one of the beers. Gibbs accepted it, twisted off the cap and downed half the bottle. Tony saw the five empty bottles on the table between them and realized it was going to be another long night.

"Knee bothering you?" Tony asked opening his beer and taking a sip.

"Nope." Gibbs stared off into the back yard. "Thought you said you finished up the case."

Tony's brow furrowed. He had finished the case, they talked about it when he'd come home tonight. An embezzlement plot gone wrong, a Marine killed one of the guys involved. They had everything they needed, the gun, the guy's bloody clothes, and DNA was being run when he left. "It is."

Gibbs took another swig from the beer and swallowed. "Abby didn't finish the DNA till almost midnight."

"Okay." Tony drew out the word.

"You should have stayed till it was done."

Taking another sip of his beer, Tony didn't respond.

"Your team lead now, you don't go home until the job is done."

"It was done, we had the gun, the clothes, and DNA was just another nail in the coffin."

"You stay until ever piece of the puzzles is complete. What if it wasn't his DNA?"

"Abby would have called."

"She shouldn't have to call."

"So what she called you just to tell you it was the killers DNA."

"Yes."

"You're checking up on me?" Tony clenched his jaw. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Is this what you want?" Gibbs asked. "To be me, to lead this team?"

Tony chuckled. "Those are two very different questions."

The comment finally made Gibbs look at Tony. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Do I want to be you, no?" Tony took a sip from the beer bottle. "Do I wanna lead this team, yes?"

"You have a problem with the way I lead  _my_ team?"

Tony shook his head. "No, I have a problem with the way you live your life away from the team…and I won't be like that."

Gibbs slammed the beer bottle down on the table between them. "And fucking a new woman ever couple weeks because you can't commit, is so much better."

Tony shrugged. "At least I'm getting laid on a regular basis." He glanced over at Gibbs. "Can't say the same about you."

Gibbs glared over at the younger man. "You're still just a boy, trying to play the big boss man."

"I did just fine when you ran off to Mexico so you wouldn't have to deal with anything." Tony paused. "Maybe you should just head back to Mexico, retire, sit on the beach and get drunk every night so you don't have to face the fact that the Great Leroy Jethro Gibbs isn't immortal."

Standing up, Gibbs walked into the house without even a glance at Tony. The back door slammed behind him.

"That's it run and hide like you always do." Tony barked as he stormed through the back door. "God forbid you have to talk about yourself and the emotions you have."

Jerking the fridge open, Gibbs grabbed another beer, twisted off the cap, and practically chugged the bottle down.

"Yeah have another drink, become an alcoholic, because you don't want to deal with the fact that you came this close to dying…AGAIN!"

"This is about you not being ready to lead this team, not me!" Gibbs snapped back.

"No, this is about you knowing I can lead this team and being scared that there won't be a place for you when you come back."

"I'm sure you'd be thrilled if I ran off to Mexico again."

"Oh yeah because that worked so great the last time. You leaving me to clean up the mess you left."

Gibbs glared at the younger man.

"Abby was a disaster for months, she plastered your picture on the walls and computer screens and played horrible gothic emo music. Ziva would bite everyone's head off whenever they brought up your name; McGee couldn't even look at your desk." He clenched his jaw shut without finishing the rest.

"And you just loved every minute of it, playing the supportive Boss that picked up the pieces."

"I HATED EVERY MINUTE YOU WERE GONE! I HATED YOU!" Tony yelled.

Gibbs grip on the beer bottle tightened, then suddenly he threw it across the room and it smacked against the wall behind Tony.

Tony heard the bottle wiz passed his head then the crash, but he never flinched. He stared at Gibbs. "So there is actually some fire left in you."

"Get the hell out of my house!" Gibbs snapped.

"No."

The word spoken in blatant defiance made Gibbs scream the words again. "GET OUT!"

"If you didn't want to be here why didn't you just give up on that operating table? You could have just stayed with Shannon and Kelly, had the perfect little afterlife. You're not living anyway when you let their ghost control everything you do, including trying to be happy with someone else."

"Don't." Gibbs growled.

"Don't what? Speak the holy names of Shannon and Kelly!" Tony spat out. "What did they tell you? Did they beg you to stay, tell you to give up and just stay there with them?" His eyes narrowed as he stared at Gibbs. "They told you to come back, to live life to the fullest, to love, to let the people that care about you be there for you, and to let people in. You hold on to her, but ignore what she has to say." Tony laughed. "Your loneliness is self-induced and it won't end until you let it."

"Shut up!"

"No." Tony stood his ground, even as the imposing figure that was Gibbs barreled towards him, halting when they stood toe to toe. Squaring his shoulders, Tony glared back at his boss, his friend. "Scream at me, hit me, do whatever you need to do, but it ends here."

Gibbs grabbed Tony by the biceps and shoved the man halfway across the room. "Get out!" He snarled as he stormed from the kitchen into the living room.

Tony stormed after him, grabbed the older man by the arm and spun him around. "I'm here, I'm your friend and I demand you let me." He heard the roar, stunned when he was grabbed by the arms again and propelled against the living room wall. His back hit the solid form and the air rushed from his lungs in a loud huff as Gibbs held his hips pinning him in place. He reached out and grabbed Gibbs’ face with both hands, their eyes locked in a battle of wills. "Let me in." He was jerked forward then slammed back against the wall. "I don't care what you do, I'm not leaving." Another quick jerk back against the wall. "If you need to draw blood, do it, but damn it let me in!" The hands on his hips tightened and pushed him against the wall with less vigor.

Gibbs' head slumped forward, his forehead settling against Tony's as he gave the younger man another half-hearted push against the wall, struggling to keep up the fight.

"Let me in." Tony repeated as one hand slid down Gibbs' chest then circled Gibbs’ waist drawing the man's body against him and feeling the man tremble. "Let me in." The grip on his hips started to lessen. "Let me in." Tony demanded again as his hand latched onto the back of Gibbs' neck. He felt Gibbs' hands slip around his waist crushing their bodies together. "Let me in."

Gibbs' head slipped to Tony's shoulder.

Tony felt the tears seeping through the fabric of his shirt and his arm around Gibbs' tightened. His hand at the back of Gibbs' neck gently combed through the silver hair in a soothing pattern. The body slumped against him and the weight trapped him between the man and the wall. "It's gonna be okay." Tony whispered. "I promise." He felt the arms around him tighten, the fingers of the hand at the small of his back clawed into him, desperately trying to hold on tight. "I'm not going anywhere."


	2. After the visible wounds heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gibbs visible wounds may have healed after Neverland, but he refuses to deal with the deeper more emotional wounds. What happens when Tony makes him face them?

Rolling onto his back, the sun's rays suddenly sprawled across his face and the light penetrated his eyelids. He scrunched his eyes shut tighter trying to block out the light. Suddenly he realized the softness beneath him, he was in the bed. How had he gotten here, he couldn't remember? Snippets of last night flashed through his mind. Tony holding him, the tears…Gibbs shook his head. Opening his eyes, he stared up at the ceiling for a moment, then his brow furrowed as he sensed the presence. Glancing to his left, he saw Tony curled up on his side facing him. Running his hands through his hair he blew out a long slow breath. He should have known this would happen. Tony had tolerated his sulky, silent, indifferent mood long enough. Add to that his constant pushing demanding bossy attitude with Tony about work and it had finally come to a head. Tony was the one person that could push him to an emotional outburst and live to tell the tale. Tony was right; the fears of facing his mortality, his concern over his job and the past hurts had driven him to a dark place. The question was, now that he had admitted it, what the hell was he going to do about it?

Rolling onto his side, Gibbs looked at the younger man asleep next to him, truly looked at him. Tony's eyes had dark circles under them and even in sleep the younger man's brow was furrowed with worry…both of which Gibbs knew he had caused. Not only with everything that had happened recently, but from everything he had put Tony through over the years. Hell, Tony was the longest relationship he'd had with just about anyone and a hell of a lot longer than any of his marriages. Tony put up with, tolerated, and accepted everything that came with being a part of Gibbs fucked up life. Even in times when their relationship was strained, Tony was there for him, without question. The man deserved a medal for still being sane and able to be in the same room with him.

Gibbs' fingers brushed a stray hair from Tony's forehead then brushed across a worry line. He drew his hand back as the wave of emotion washed over him. Feelings towards the younger man, a continuation of what he felt last night as they clung to each other and the way they refused to part even after the tears had ended. Tony was so much more than his SFA, his friend, Tony was family. A man that Gibbs had wanted at NCIS the minute they met, a man that had shown himself to be one of the most loyal, trustworthy and caring people Gibbs had ever met. Tony was one of the few people that could and would stand up to him, right or wrong, Tony always stood his ground. Involuntarily, Gibbs smiled. And Tony could make him laugh like no one else, something he rarely did, especially lately.

Taking a deep breath he blew it out as he stared at the man beside him. In all the years they had known each other, rarely did Gibbs get an unguarded moment to look at Tony and now that he was able to, it made his heart thunder against his chest. Again, Gibbs touched Tony, this time tracing a finger down the younger man's jaw line then letting his thumb brush across Tony's lips. Suddenly, the eyes before him opened and he was staring into the familiar green pools. Gibbs jerked his hand away.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"That doesn't sound very convincing."

Gibbs rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No." Gibbs folded an arm under his head. "I could never be mad at you for telling the truth."

"I'm worried about you." Tony paused. "You have the same look in your eyes when you left for Mexico."

The truth was he'd thought about leaving, as soon as the knee had started to heal. He wanted nothing more than to pack a bag, head to the Marina and sail the boat anywhere and not look back. What kept him from actually leaving, he still wasn't sure.

"I don't want you to leave."

Gibbs could hear and feel the emotion in Tony's voice and he rolled onto his side again meeting the worried green eyes.

Swallowing the fear, Tony's hand gently cupped Gibbs' face. "I stop breathing every time I think of losing you."

Without a thought or even understanding why he was doing it, Gibbs leaned in letting his lips brush across Tony's. It was barely a whisper, but when he drew back Tony's eyes had closed.

"Promise me, you won't leave." Tony demanded as his eyes opened.

Gibbs spoke the words with conviction. "I promise."

Tony's fingers combed through the silver hair at Gibbs' temple and the blue eyes closed. "Let me help, however I can. Whatever you need, I'm here."

Gibbs nodded, not trusting his voice as he relished the soothing touch. As if he'd done it a thousand times his arm slipped around Tony's waist gently pulling the younger man against him. The only thought in his mind, that of needing to have Tony closer and feel more of the man. The action caused an immediate reaction in Tony. Gibbs felt the warm lips press a kiss to his forehead, then his temple, his cheek. When the lips cautiously brushed across his lips, Gibbs' hand clutched at the small of Tony's back, his fingertips digging into the t-shirt and the flesh beneath. The body against him shivered slightly and the guarded kiss turned insistent as Tony's tongue forced its way into Gibbs' mouth.

Gibbs' hands clawed up Tony's back feeling the muscles contract under his touch. Swallowing the moan that Tony released, Gibbs fought back, demanding his own exploration of the younger man's mouth. He had never tasted anything so sweet, the lingering flavor of Tony's sugary coffee the most prominent taste. The lips were suddenly pulling away and Gibbs tried everything he could to draw them back. Fingers knotted into his hair and yanked his head back, his eyes locked with Tony's for a moment. Then Tony's lips were on his throat. Gibbs' eyes closed giving into the wonderful sensation of Tony's teeth nibbling at his flesh. A hand on his ass and he felt Tony grinding against him. With an animalistic growl, Gibbs rolled onto his back, Tony still in his arms.

Tony straddled the man under him, strong hands clutched at his hips and Tony ripped his mouth from Gibbs' throat. When their eyes met again, Gibbs arched up seizing Tony's lips as he sat up with Tony in his lap.

Tony's hands were in Gibbs' hair, tugging the older man's head back as he bit at Gibbs' lower lip. The growling sounds Gibbs made only spurred Tony on and he bit down harder. Pulling Gibbs bottom lip out with his teeth, he roughly let it go and Gibbs seized the opportunity.

Gibbs attacked Tony's neck, biting down on the jugular. Tony hissed and threw his head back. Crushing their bodies together, Gibbs attack was brutal, biting and chewing at the sweet tender flesh. Tony's hand crushed down on the back of Gibbs' head begging for more. Gibbs could feel the welts forming under his lips knew the marks would be large, bruised and bloody yet he couldn't stop himself. His fingers found the bottom edge of Tony's t-shirt and his hands slipped underneath. He scratched and clawed at Tony's back, his fingertips desperate to rip into the skin.

Letting go of Gibbs' head, Tony worked his hand between them and his fingers grazed Gibbs fabric covered cock. The older man groaned and his body shook.

" _Tony."_

The familiar voice echoed up the stairs from just inside the door.

Tony panted as he pulled himself away from Gibbs. "Fuck." Tony groaned as the hand clawing at his back suddenly stilled. Taking a deep breath, Tony disentangled himself from the older man and ran down the stairs.

"I've been calling you for an hour." McGee said rolling his eyes as Tony came down the stairs.

"What is it?" Tony snapped still trying to catch his breath.

"Marine, Rock Creek Park."

"Damn it." Tony blew out a long breath and ran his hands through his hair. "Give me five." He took off up the steps and ran into the bedroom. Gibbs was sitting up on the side of the bed. "Case." Tony kept his voice low.

Gibbs nodded.

Changing from his sweats into a pair of jeans, Tony opened the closet and grabbed a turtle neck sweater and replaced his t-shirt with it. "Marine, Rock Creek Park."

"Go."

Tony was about to step out of the bedroom when he turned back around and went to Gibbs. He gave Gibbs a quick kiss, touching Gibbs' cheek. He wanted to say something but he didn't even know where to begin.

Patting Tony's hip, Gibbs gave a half smile. "Go." Gibbs watched Tony rush out the door, heard the few words exchanged between Tony and McGee then the front door opening and closing. He flopped back onto the bed and groaned as he ran his hands down his face.  _What the hell was he doing!_


	3. After the visible wounds heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gibbs visible wounds may have healed after Neverland, but he refuses to deal with the deeper more emotional wounds. What happens when Tony makes him face them?

He'd tried to go back to sleep but his mind and body was still reeling making it impossible. He'd finally just gotten up, gotten dressed and sat on the back patio for hours. He was now on his third pot of coffee and was standing in the kitchen staring at the basement door. The door seemed like a gateway to some other dimension, a world that was now foreign to him. He hadn't thought about the boat or working with wood since he'd been home. Taking the few steps, he opened the door and stepped onto the landing. He felt his knees wobble and he grabbed onto the wooden railing for stability. Taking a deep breath, he mentally head slapped himself for the fear that seemed to rush through his body. Glancing at the steps leading down, he steadied himself and took the first step, leading with his good leg. Tentatively, he took the first couple steps then rolled his eyes at his unwarranted fear. Taking the last few steps his feet touched the concrete floor and again he paused just staring at the partially completed boat frame.

Another deep breath and he took the few steps to the boat. Reaching out he ran a hand over the arch of one of the pieces of wood, he instantly felt his body relax. Slowly he walked around the boat his hand touching each piece of wood feeling the difference in the grain of spots he'd sanded and spots that still needed attention. As he reached the bow of the boat he stared at the blank wood. He hadn't even considered a name of the boat yet, he rarely did until he was done and the boat was nowhere near complete. This experience, the wounds, the emotional reaction, it would influence the name.

He dropped down on the nearby saw horse and let out a slow breath then rubbed his knee. It didn't hurt; it was just habit now, a constant reminder.

"Didn't expect to find you down here."

Gibbs looked up at the familiar voice.

"You must be feeling better."

Staring back at the boat, Gibbs didn't respond.

Reaching the bottom of the steps, Fornell paused, instantly sensing Gibbs mood. "You didn't come down here to end it did you?"

Gibbs glared over at him then rolled his eyes.

"Hey it's an honest concern with the mood you've been in the past few months."

"What the hell do you want Tobias?"

Fornell put up his hands in a show of surrender. "Just checking in."

Gibbs' eyes narrowed. Tobias stopping by wasn't unusual, he stopped by at least once a week since he'd gotten home, but in the middle of the day, that was odd. "Tony asked you to check up on me." It wasn't a question.

Fornell shrugged taking a few steps towards Gibbs. There was no sense in lying. "He's worried about you, so am I."

"I'm fine."

Fornell chuckled. "Sure."

"Go home Tobias." Gibbs said as he stood up and walked over to the bench pausing and glancing up at the bottle of Bourbon on the shelf above the bench.

Fornell saw the object Gibbs looked at and he glanced at his watch. "Little early for that isn't it?"

Gibbs glanced over his shoulder at his friend with an angry glare.

Again, Tobias put up his hands. "It's five o'clock somewhere right?"

Reaching for the bottle, Gibbs sat it on the work bench and started to unscrewed the lid.

"Am I going to have to take you to the cabin like you did with me when I lost Diane?" Fornell saw Gibbs' hand stop. He watched as both of Gibbs' hands went flat against the work bench. "What did he say to you?"

Gibbs turned around and leaned back against the work bench. He stared at Fornell.

"There's a fire back in your eyes, I haven't seen that since before you were shot. Something got you worked up and I only know one person that can put that look in your eyes." Fornell grabbed the saw horse and placed it a few feet from Gibbs. Sitting down, Fornell continued. "Did he finally call you out?"

Gibbs ran his hands down his face.

"He's worried, we all are and frankly I'm surprised it took him this long." Fornell folded his arms across his chest. "You've been pushing him and you can only push a man so far before he snaps." He paused when he saw Gibbs rub his hand over his mouth. "You're two stubborn men that know how to push each other's buttons, it was bound to happen."

"Yeah." Gibbs sighed.

Taking a deep breath, Fornell let his hands fall to the saw horse. "He wants your job Jethro, but in about 10-15 years when you're ready to retired."

Gibbs scoffed. "I don't think I have that many years in me."

"Well, whenever you're ready he's ready."

"He's been ready a long time."

Fornell nodded. "Yeah, but for him it's about more than the job." Fornell shook his head. "He's not like us Jethro; the job isn't his life he wants more."

"He deserves more." Gibbs' eyes suddenly fell to the floor.

"He's wanted more for a long time, you just never let yourself see it."

Gibbs' brow furrowed sensing the underlying context to Fornell's words.

Fornell rolled his eyes. "Wanting your job isn't the reason he stays or the reason he puts up with your shit."

Gibbs felt his chest tighten.

"No one questioned the fact that he would be the one to stay here, to take care of you, and we all knew when we saw how this affected you, that he would be the one to force you to face it." Fornell paused letting it sink in before continuing. "Facing the underlying feelings-" Fornell shrugged. "I'm not sure you'll ever face those."

"I'm too old for this." Gibbs groaned.

Fornell chucked. "You're never too old for  _that_."

"Then I'm just too old for him."

"He doesn't seem to think so."

Unconsciously Gibbs rubbed his knee. He saw Fornell glance at his knee then back up and Gibbs pulled his hand away.

"But then age isn't what is bothering you." Fornell shook his head. "You're gonna die Jethro, eventually, but wouldn't you rather be happy, than spending the rest of your life denying your feelings and regretting what might have been."

Gibbs head fell back. "I'm not sure I can."

"Did you promise him you wouldn't leave?"

Jerking his head up, Gibbs looked at Fornell surprised. "Yeah."

Fornell shook his head and stood up. "Then get ready." He saw the questioning look in Gibbs' eyes. "Because if you can't do this." Fornell started walking towards the stairs. "You're going to spend the rest of your time at NCIS seeing and hearing about all the women he's with to fill the void." He started up the stairs. "If you're lucky, he won't look to another man for comfort, since he can't have you." He paused. "Can you imagine what it would be like hearing about that?" He saw Gibbs' jaw clench. "Maybe he'll just get married, settle down, have a few kids, and then you can smile and wish him well…all the time thinking about what might have been." Without looking back, Fornell walked through the door and disappeared.

** ########## **

Tony quietly pushed the door open, the darkness of the house making him think Gibbs might actually be sleeping. Walking into the living room, Tony was surprised by a faint gleam of light in the kitchen. Stepping into the kitchen, he was shocked to see the light was coming from the open basement door. Hesitantly, he stepped through the basement door and stood at the top of the steps looking down at the older man. Gibbs was sanding a beam of the boat with an intensity Tony hadn't seen from Gibbs in a very long time.

Suddenly sensing he was being watched, Gibbs looked up, his eyes locking on Tony's for a moment then dropping back to the task at hand.

Tony felt a vice like grip clutch at his heart. So that was how this was going to go. Starting down the steps, he forced himself to speak. "Didn't expect to find you down here, but I'm going to take this as a good sign."

"Figured Tobias would have filled you in."

If this had been the old Gibbs, Tony would have expected Gibbs to walk over and head slap him, but this was a completely different Gibbs and Tony had no idea how the older man would react.

Gibbs glanced at Tony. "You could have just called."

"Yeah." Tony nodded. "I could have."

"But?"

Tony shrugged. "No, but. I wanted someone to check in on you, Fornell seemed like the best choice."

"Did you think I was gonna off myself too?"

"No." Tony took a step towards the boat and closer to Gibbs. "I did worry you might be over thinking what happened between us."

The sander paused and Gibbs looked over at Tony. Slowly, he shook his head.

Tony tried not to let his face show the emotion underneath. "Good, good." Tony chuckled. "Because it was just, I know you were just dealing with everything and I was just, I was there."

"Yeah, you were." Gibbs put the sander down on the boat.

"It was the heat of the moment, emotions running high, I was the closest outlet."

Gibbs brow furrowed slightly and he shrugged. "Right, because it could have been anyone, I mean if McGee had been here I would have kissed him…" He took a half step towards Tony. "Almost made love to him."

Tony's eyes went wide. "McGee!"

Gibbs looked at Tony questioning. "Yeah, it could have been anyone, closest available outlet right?"

Tony swallowed the lump in his throat.

"That's what you think?" Gibbs shrugged taking another half step towards the younger man. "That I was so overcome with emotion that I kissed you-" He touched the collar of Tony's sweater, pulling it down to expose the bluish purple bruises on Tony's neck. He stared at the bruise as his thumb gently brushed across it, then his eyes locked on Tony's. "That I left those marks on you, because you were just there."

"I-" Tony couldn't form a response, didn't even know what he would say if he could speak.

"You were just there." Gibbs searched the eyes before him. "That's why I was about to throw you down and make love to you? It was all about proximity." Gibbs watched Tony's Adam's apple bob up and down. He shrugged and took a step back. "I'm glad you explained that to me." He picked up the sander and ran it back and forth over the spot he had been working on a few minutes before. "Here I thought it was about the feelings we've both had for each other and we've both been too stubborn to admit. But if you-" The next word never left Gibbs' lips as his face was grabbed and his lips captured. He dropped the sander as his arms enveloped the younger man giving into the assault.

Only when his lungs demanded air, did Tony pull back.

"Am I just the closest available outlet?" Gibbs let out a huff of air as Tony punched him in the gut. Trying to catch his breath, Gibbs smirked at the sparkling green eyes that stared back at him. He tugged Tony closer. "I'm just making sure." His hands caressed up Tony's back. "Because I don't wanna start this again if you're not-"

"I love you." Tony spoke the words with conviction and all the emotion he'd hidden for so long. He saw the steel blue eyes soften and mirror his emotion.

"I love you too." Gibbs took a deep breath. "And nothing that happened was about you just being the closest outlet. I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you…and I wanted nothing more than to throw you down and make love to you."

"So McGee wouldn't have done it for you?" Tony smirked.

Gibbs glared at him and shook his head.

Wiggling his way out of Gibbs' arms, Tony took Gibbs' hand and started to pull him towards the stairs.

"Where we going?" Gibbs asked.

"Upstairs to the bed, so we can pick up where we left off." Tony led them up the basement steps.

"Okay." Gibbs agreed as they walked through the kitchen.

As they crossed the threshold into the living room, Tony was suddenly spun around and pushed against the living room wall. His wrists were pinned above his head by strong hands. He watched as Gibbs' eyes skimmed down his body and back up. Tony looked at his wrists pinned against the wall then looked at the older man.

"All I've been able to think about is you." Gibbs licked his lips. "Your scent…the taste of your lips, the feel of your body against mine." Gibbs’ eyes closed and he inhaled deeply. Slowly his eyes opened. "I can feel you behind my eyes, it's like you're in my blood stream, pieces of you etched in my mind." His hands cascaded down Tony's arms, down his chest and stomach. He grabbed the bottom of the sweater and shoved it up Tony's body tugging it off and over the younger man's arms. He let it fall to the floor and his hands clawed at Tony's stomach then scratched their way up the sides of Tony's body feeling each rib under his fingertips. Dipping down his lips brush against Tony's throat licking a path to his chin then to his lips. Eyes locked, Gibbs hissed. "What have you done to me?" His hand clutched at the side of Tony's neck as he searched Tony's eyes for answer. "You see the sides of me that no one ever has…or ever will."

Tony's arms slid down the wall and he touched Gibbs face. "I've had you memorized for years, the way you walk, the way you talk, every minute expression you have ever made." He ran a finger over Gibbs' lips. "I memorized everything, because I wanted to be the one."

"You are the one." Gibbs whispered as his fingers popped the button on Tony's jeans. "The only one."

Again, Tony captured Gibbs' lips in a searing kiss, this time demanding more. He moaned as he felt the zipper glide down over his cock. He held his breath, waiting expecting Gibbs' touch. Instead Gibbs hands disappeared and the lips were suddenly ripped from his. Tony's eyes shot open at the loss of contact. Lifting his arms, Gibbs removed his sweatshirt and tossed it aside. Instinctively, Tony's hands tugged at Gibbs belt, unbuckling it and quickly undoing the jeans. He was about to force the jeans from Gibbs' body when his wrists were grabbed and Gibbs started pulling him towards the couch.

With a quick kick to the edge of the coffee table it slid out of their path. Stopping when they reached the edge of the couch, Gibbs paused. "Door?"

"I locked it when I came home."

Gibbs smirked.

"Always anticipate." Tony grinned as he pushed the jeans down over his hips and they pooled at his feet.

Licking his lips, Gibbs leered down Tony's naked body. All the wickedly depraved things he wanted to do to the younger man flashed through his mind in quick snippets of increasingly erotic fever. It would take years, a lifetime to do them all. He immediately cursed himself for having ignored the obvious signs of their attraction for so long.  _So much time wasted._  He would make up for it every day for the rest of his life. He made a promise to himself. He would make sure Tony always knew he was loved, with words and with actions. They would build a life together, a home that was their sanctuary, filled with family and friends. They would make love every day; make love like it was the first time, and the last time every time. The tugging at his jeans pulled him from his thoughts and he felt the jeans fall at his feet.

"Fantasize later."

Gibbs dropped down on the couch and held out his hand. Tony's fingers touched his palm and Gibbs tugged the younger man down into his lap.

Straddling Gibbs' thighs, Tony felt the hard cock against his ass and he put his hands on Gibbs' chest. His fingers touched the scar and Tony's eyes fell to Gibbs' chest. His fingers traced a path over the length of the scar, his own heart breaking at the all too recent reminder of how close he came to losing the man. His eyes shot up and met blue. Laying his palm flat against the wound, he sighed.

"Tony, its-"

"I am going to personally put that damn vest on you every time you go into the field."

Gibbs' eyebrow went up as the corner of his lip curled into a smirk. "I like that idea."

"Oh you are so not going to like it." Tony scowled wanting Gibbs to take this seriously.

"My bare chest your hands all over it while you put the vest on me." Gibbs' hands caressed up Tony's back. "Me wanting nothing more than to take you, because even the slightest touch from you drives me wild."

Tony bit back a smile.

Gibbs tugged the man closer and took a deep breath. "Oh believe me; I plan to make sure I'm around for a very long time." He ogled Tony's naked body. "A very long time."

"You are a dirty old man." Tony grinned as he rocked his hips over Gibbs hard cock and heard the guttural groan.

"Guilty." Gibbs said just before attacking Tony's lips. The touch at his chest disappeared as Tony's arms wrapped around his neck drawing them closer. Gibbs' hands clutched at Tony's back, his fingers digging into the flesh. This was it, the endless need, the relentless desire, and the unfaltering love that Gibbs had craved for so long and he reveled in it. He wanted nothing more than to let it swallow him whole.

Jerking back, Tony panted for breath as he rested his forehead against Gibbs. "Hand." Tony panted.

Gibbs seemed puzzled.

Reaching back, Tony grabbed Gibbs' wrist ripping the hand from his back.

Still slightly puzzled, understanding hit when Tony sucked in two of his fingers and licked at the digits. Gibbs stared mesmerized by the action, part of him had expected more foreplay more exploration, but he knew that would come later. Right now this is what they both needed. The fingers slipped from Tony's lips and Gibbs still couldn't pull his eyes away. It wasn't until Tony rose up slightly on his knees, that the spell was broken and the wanton desire took over. His hand disappeared between them finding the tight muscle and slowly worked a finger into the younger man.

Tony moaned softly as the finger breeched him and slowly worked in and out, a few seconds later a second finger worked its way in. He purred as Gibbs' fingers scissored inside him then pumped in and out. It didn't take long and he was rocking his hips over the digits.

Gibbs was again mesmerized by the younger man. Tony's eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted as he moaned with pleasure. It was one of the most erotic and enticing images Gibbs had ever seen. Suddenly, he was staring into the dilated green pools and Tony's hand cupped his cheek.

"It feels so good." Tony groaned. "So good."

Gibbs had no idea what Tony's experience was, they hadn't talked about it and they probably never would. Honestly, he didn't care, all that mattered was them. Everything else was the past, forgotten the minute the words of love were spoken between them.

"I want more." Tony rose up removing himself from the fingers. He reached down and grabbed Gibbs cock by the base, then slowly lowered himself down. He took a deep breath and blew it out as the head of Gibbs' cock pressed against the opening, the head slipped in and Gibbs' hands suddenly latched onto his hips. "Breath." Tony sighed seeing Gibbs holding his breath.

Forcing himself to take a breath, Gibbs filled his lungs and blew it out as the head of his cock settled into the overwhelming warmth. He was about to take another breath when he felt more of his cock enveloped. His fingertips dug into Tony's hips halting any further downward motion.

"Your control is failing." Tony sighed as his lips swept against Gibbs. He felt the fingertips dig deeper into his hips. "You're trying every trick you know to hold onto it." The older man shuddered. Running his hands up Gibbs' arms, Tony pressed his lips to Gibbs' ear. "Let it go." Tony whispered. "Lose complete control with me." Tony braced his hands on Gibbs' shoulders and impaled himself on Gibbs' cock.

An animalistic cry filled the air as Gibbs' body convulsed and he crushed Tony in his arms the younger man completely seated in his lap. Before Gibbs could even comprehend the sensation and emotion coursing through him, Tony rose up slightly then slammed back down rocking his hips. Repeating the action, Gibbs' eyes closed and his head fell forward, his forehead touching Tony's. Instinctively, his hips thrust up.

"That's it." Tony groaned as Gibbs thrust up again. He trembled in Gibbs' arms as Gibbs made short deep thrusts inside him. "Oh god yes!" Tony gasped as his cocked twitched between them. "Make me come."

Reaching between them, Gibbs' hand enveloped Tony's cock stroking roughly over its length. He head shot up, his eyes open and he gazed into Tony's eyes. "Say it again." Gibbs growled.

Tony licked his dry lips. "Make me co-" The word lodged in his throat as Gibbs ran a thumb over the head of his cock and pressed into the slit. Throwing his head back, Tony started bouncing on Gibbs' cock as the calloused hand jerked him off hard and fast.

Gibbs gaze traveled the length of Tony's body, taking in the way their joined bodies worked in perfect rhythm with each other. His hand around Tony's cock tightened as his eyes focused back on Tony's face. The younger man's head thrown back in complete ecstasy, eyes closed, jaw clenched as he started to give in. The body against him started to tense, the muscle around his cock squeezing tighter as Tony suddenly opened his mouth and screamed as he came. The younger man slumped against him. "I'm not done with you yet." Gibbs hissed as he grabbed Tony by the hips and started raising the man up and down over his still hard cock. "Fuck yes." Gibbs howled as he thrust into Tony each time he slammed the man down into his lap. "So good, so fucking tight." He felt the arms gently slip around his neck and the fingers comb through the hair on the back of his head. Suddenly the fingers knotted into his hair and jerked his head back forcing him to stare into the still hungry eyes of his lover.

"Harder. Don't stop." Tony grunted as his body was roughly heaved up and down. His words caused the older man to thrust hard and fast, ramming his cock deep inside Tony. "That's it!" Tony gasped as the full force of an out of control Gibbs fucked him mercilessly. It seemed like hours had passed and Gibbs showed no sign of stopping. Tony's body was in this perpetual state of agony and ecstasy as Gibbs pistoned into him like a machine. Tony's own cock was hard again and desperate for release but it was as if Gibbs did everything possible to prolong it.

Gibbs no longer had a concept of space or time; he'd been completely consumed by his love and lust for the younger man. The only thing he understood was that this, their joined bodies, was all he ever wanted and he fought to never let the feeling end. Then somewhere in the recesses of his shattered mind he heard a voice, a voice begging and pleading for release.

"Jethro please."

The sound of his name, the desperation in the please captured a sliver of his subconscious mind.

"Come for me." Tony begged at Gibbs' ear. "Please Jethro, oh god please."

The words wormed their way into his brain and he wrapped his arms around the man he loved finally letting the body come to rest in his lap.

Tony groaned as his body settled into Gibbs' lap. Slowly, Tony started to rock his hips and the body under him matched his rhythm. "Just like that." Tony panted as the slow cadence of their movements built his own need, his cock rubbing back and forth against their stomachs.

Cheek to cheek, Gibbs breathing became shallow, his heart thumping in long hard beats against his chest. The excruciatingly slow pace had his body on edge and his body was starting to lose the fight. He felt the pressure building at the base of his spine, there was nothing more he could do, he had no defenses to stop it. Then the words spoken softly, words of passion, love and all that was still to come carried him over the edge. He buried his face in the crook of Tony's neck muffling the cry of his release, a second later he felt the warm liquid against his stomach as their bodies melted against each other.

** ########## **

He felt the warmth against him and drew it closer, the body fitting perfectly against him. The contentment washed over him and he snuggled deeper inhaling the scent that permeated every cell of his being. The body against him suddenly shuddered and he heard the faint hint of laughter. The foggy haze started to lift as his mind drew him from sleep. He was on the couch, curled against a body, Tony's body. He tugged the younger man even closer, crushing his arm around Tony's waist. Again the faint sound of laughter.

"Didn't you get enough earlier."

"No." Gibbs mumbled dropping a kiss to Tony's shoulder then raining kisses down onto the younger man’s neck.

Twisting and turning in Gibbs vice like grip and struggling against the blanket covering them, Tony managed to turn over and face the other man.

Gibbs slowly let his eyes drift open and meet the sparkling green. Soft fingertips brushed across his cheek then traced a path down his jaw and to his lips.

Tony smiled as his fingertip traced Gibbs bottom lip. "God you're even sexier than I thought you'd be in the morning."

Gibbs chuckled. "You think a lot about how I would look in the morning?"

Tony nodded chewing at his bottom lip.

Capturing Tony's wrist, Gibbs pulled the hand to his chest. "How long?"

Tony shrugged then smirked. "I don't know, but I remember thinking you were pretty damn sexy when you patted my face that day at NCIS."

Gibbs scoffed as he let go of Tony's hand and wrapped his arm around the younger man again. "You in that black leather jacket." Gibbs sighed. "Now that's sexy."

"Is that why you brought me to NCIS, just to have a sexy piece of ass to look at all day?"

Shaking his head, Gibbs' eyes narrowed. "You were a good cop and you're an even better agent." There was a hint of mischief in the blue eyes. "Being a hot piece of ass doesn't hurt though."

Tony gasped in mock surprise. "Dirty old man!"

"But I knew." The seriousness returned to Gibbs' face. "You were going to be important to me, I just never realize how important."

"How important am I?" Tony asked sliding his hand around Gibbs' waist.

Gibbs smirked. "You're irreplaceable."

Tony rolled his eyes at the familiar statement.

Pulling the younger man closer, Gibbs sighed. "I don't ever want to know what a life without you is like."

"That's better."

Gibbs felt the kiss before Tony's lips ever touched his and he braced for it; braced for his bodies instant reaction, for the need to hold on to the kiss for as long as possible and for the endless desire for it to never end.

When Tony felt the hand cup his ass, he pulled back. "Did you really think I was sexy in that black jacket?"

"Yeah." Gibbs brow furrowed. "Why?"

"Did you have feelings for me then?"

Gibbs shook his head. "But I could still appreciate a sexy man."

"Okay."

"Are you asking when I started having feelings for you?"

Tony shrugged. "Maybe."

"The incident in Cuba kinda stirred up some emotions."

"Incident in Cuba?" Tony thought about it a moment then his eyes went wide. "Leroy Jethro Gibbs you see me naked and that stirs feelings in you!"

"You look damn good naked."

Tony's eyebrow went up. "Where you staring at my cock?"

"It was hard not to when it was standing at attention."

Tony smacked Gibbs ass. "I was not hard!"

"You were." Gibbs balked.

"Well if I was it was because you were staring at my cock."

Gibbs scoffed. "If you had any inkling that I was staring at your cock you would have made a move."

"If I had an inkling you were staring at my cock I would have dropped to my knees and begged you to let me suck yours."

Gibbs' eyebrows went up. "Is that so?"

Tony felt Gibbs' cock twitch between them. "Is that all it takes?" He squeezed Gibbs ass. "Me just talking about wanting to suck your cock and your hard?"

"Pretty much."

"Well then." Tony sighed. "I'd like to suck your hard cock right now…lick the head, taste you, then take every-" Tony's cell phone on the coffee table buzzed to life. He groaned as his head fell back. "I swear to god if that's McGee again I'm shipping him to Antarctica!" As Tony went to get up, Gibbs’ arms held him tighter. Tony stared at him questioningly. "Are you going to let me answer the phone?"

Gibbs shook his head slowly.

Tony cocked his head. "Really, after all the weeks of you hounding me about how I run this team and you're going to prevent me from taking a call that might be from the team?"

A nod.

"And why is that?"

"Because you said, you wanna lead this team, but you don't want to be like me." Gibbs paused. "I let the job become more important than the people in my life."

Tony relaxed back into Gibbs' arms and the phone went silent again. "And are you going to take your own advice?"

Another nod. "Starting right now, nothing is more important than you." Gibbs heart skipped a beat as that beautiful DiNozzo smile beamed at him.

"I like the sound of that."

Gibbs' hands slid down to Tony's ass and squeezed. "Now where were we?"

"Just remember if that was McGee, he's gonna show up here in about twenty minutes."

"Oh I can accomplish a lot in twenty minutes." Gibbs wiggled his eyebrows.

"So can I." Tony suddenly slipped under the blanket.

Gibbs jumped when he felt the tongue lick at the head of his cock. "Shit." He groaned as warm lips sucked in the head. Oh it didn't matter if God himself knocked at that door with a case; nothing was moving them from this spot.


End file.
